i spy candy

I feel a bit strange blogging about this topic, but I figure no one really looks at my tumblr anyways, so here it goes…

On Tuesday, I entered singlehood for the first time in one year, seven months and 15 days. It was something I knew I had to do, but had been avoiding for a while. I started to realize that regardless of our relationship, we had developed a friendship and breaking up would be like losing a best friend. There’s a big void that exists in me now, but I hope to fill that emptiness with other, perhaps more substantial things, like friends, family, God, life. I feel like (aka know that) I’ve been neglecting all these things and living in a secluded world. I was really afraid of facing this inevitable void and how I would feel, but even stronger was the feeling that I could no longer ignore this pressing feeling growing in my gut. And now that I think about, the void is not as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, I feel this huge wave of relief coming over me and my spirits feel lighter. Not in a “I’m empty”-light, but a I feel happy-light. I don’t take many risks with my emotions (being so emotional and all) and so this was a really big, monumental, milestone-esque move for me. I haven’t been at a spiritual high with God lately, and I think this was His first test for me to get me back on track. And you know what? I’m excited to see what God has planned for me this year, this place, and with the people here.